Obstacles To Brotherly Love

The importance of love is well known for the emotional, mental, and physical wellbeing of humanity. It boosts confidence, self-esteem and has noticeable health benefits for both the giver and recipient. The Bible tells us that Elohim is not just a loving father, but he is the very embodiment and epitome of love (1 John 4:16)

So, knowing how important love is, why do so many Christians have such trouble in showing their love practically?

Four obstacles to brotherly love.

1. Lack of self-love

The scripture we have just looked at says we are to, “love your neighbour AS yourself”. The problem is many of us are struggling to love ourselves. We have an identity crisis, even in the Church. We can be our own greatest critics, finding fault, dismissing our strengths, disliking our looks, abilities, and status in life. How then can we love our fellow brother? It is the same measure we used to love ourselves that we used to measure others. I’ve heard people say to themselves, “I’m so stupid/dumb/fat/ugly”, “silly me” or “I can never get anything right”. No wonder we are struggling to show empathy, compassion, patience, forgiveness, and true brotherly love to one another as we have not shown the same to ourselves.

2. Incomplete sacrifice

Romans 12:1 “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service,” Like Ananias & Saphira, we have held back part of the “proceeds” and are lying to Holy Spirit. We raise our hands and sing “I surrender all” when there are areas of our lives that we have not and do not intend to surrender to Elohim. The truth of the matter is, the more of ourselves we surrender to Elohim, the more He fills us with His love with which we can love our fellow brother unconditionally. The conduit of love flows directly from heaven through us, bypassing our logic and reaching the recipient in its pure state: no agenda or desire for reciprocation.

3. Partially renewed mind

When we come to Christ, we are all dysfunctional by nature because of the sin nature we inherited from Adam. Our BC (before Christ) mindsets interfere with our love walk. Over the years, we have adopted mantras that we consciously or unconsciously live by. These mantras are anti-brotherly love: phrases like: - take care of number one (i.e. yourself)  - scratch my back, I scratch your back  - give as good as you get  - the end justifies the means - get all you can, can all you get and sit on the can - like everyone trust no one. Without renewing our minds in these areas, our love walk will be compromised and limited by our faulty mindsets.

4. Suspicious mindset

Suspicion (cautious distrust) is the enemy of love. You can never walk in true brotherly without trust. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and the absence of trust causes us to be guarded and to withhold from one another. You see those showing love to you as having an ulterior motive, and you cannot receive it. Suspicious people cannot be vulnerable with others and instead, put up a front that breeds hypocrisy and pretense, both of which have nothing to do with love. 

1 Corinthians 13:7 KJV Love beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

So, brethren, as we look at the mirror of the word, let us realign and readjust any elements of our “appearance” that are out of place so that we can resemble our Father in our love walk. Remember, Yeshua is coming for His bride, a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  

So, “Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love”. (1 John 4:7-8)

 Let brotherly love continue!